Yesterday I had to say goodbye to an old friend. Her name was Zena and she was a starling who had been with our family for seventeen years. She was an amazing bird who brought a great deal of joy to me and my family and she will be greatly missed.
When I was a kid, there were a lot of starlings living around my dad's house. Every spring they would build nests in the trees and the eaves of the house and fill them up with babies. Almost every year the nests would get too crowded and some of the babies would be knocked out. When we would find the stranded birds we would take them into the house and hand feed them until they were grown enough to be set free.
One year though, when the bird we were caring for was almost grown, we started to wonder if our care had prepared her for life on her own. We wondered if birds just naturally knew how to take care of themselves or if that was something that was taught by mother birds. We started to doubt whether we had done the right thing by raising all of those babies and then sending them out to fend for themselves. The more we thought about it the more afraid we were to let this bird go the way we had with the others. We decided that the best thing to do would be to keep her. We named her Zena.
The longer we had her the more we realized what a remarkable creature she was. She was very friendly and incredibly intelligent. Though we were not aware of this at the time, starlings have been known to learn to talk. We did not discover this fact until Zena suddenly began talking. Though she did not talk as much in the last few years, there was a time when she had quite a vocabulary. Much of her speech was clearer than any parrots I have heard and she also seemed to know how to use many of the words in context, such as "take your bath" when she saw us bringing her fresh water.
We would also hear her communicating with the other starlings outside, who would come to the window to talk to her. This made us doubt our decision to keep her inside. Finally we decided that, whatever might happen, the best thing was to set her free. Unfortunately, by then it was too late. She had become accustomed to living with us and when we tried to let her outside she refused to leave. So until two days ago she lived with us. Yesterday, I took her back to my dads house, where she first came into our lives, and buried her.
Saying goodbye to her was very hard for several reason. She had been a part of my life for a very long time, and I think she helped me to become the person I am today. She was the first to show me how wrong people can be about animals. Many people think of starlings as pests and almost no one would think of them as being as intelligent and amazing as Zena was. She taught me that, despite many humans' best efforts, animals can overcome our ideas of them to be truly remarkable beings. This is a lesson I have not forgotten. Many other animals have shown me this over the years, but Zena will always be the first.
My feelings and beliefs about animals have changed a great deal since we first rescued Zena, and I now feel a great deal of guilt for the way she lived. I don't believe that animals are ever meant to live in cages and the fact that Zena spent her life that way makes me very sad. I feel honored to have known her, and I am happy that she had such a long life but I still wonder if we did the right thing for her all those years ago.
Zena touched the lives and, hopefully, opened the minds of every person who ever set foot in our house. I only hope that by writing this blog I have allowed her to be a part of a few more lives. Thank you Zena. I hope you know that you were, and are, loved.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
35 Things I Think I Have Figured Out
I recently found this through StumbleUpon. http://inoveryourhead.net/100-tips-about-life/ and it inspired me to make my own list. Not that anyone has any reason to take my advice, but I think maybe I have figured out a few things that might be helpful to some people. Or maybe not, who knows, but here they are anyway.
1.Never put yourself in a situation where you feel like an outcast. Surround yourself with people who understand you. If you have to be surrounded by people who don't understand you, make them understand.
2.If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty, stop doing it.
3.Make yourself eat healthy food, even if you don't like it. You will learn to like it (trust me) and pretty soon all that junk food you've been eating will start to taste like shit.
4.Don't be afraid to change your appearance as drastically and frequently as you want to. Nobody ever said you have to look the same way all the time, and sometimes a fresh look feels like a fresh start.
5.Find a type of exercise that you enjoy and do it every day, preferably in the morning. It makes the whole day go easier.
6.Try to understand people, even people you don't like. Everyone has a reason for being the way they are and understanding that makes it a lot easier not to hate them (sometimes it's still really hard though).
7.Music makes everything better. Play it loud to drown out the sound of your own thoughts when you need to. Or sing (even in your head) if you are in a place where you can't play music.
8.Spend time in nature.
9.Create something.....anything.
10.Give people the benefit of the doubt but never count on them too much.
11.Learn to be self-sufficient in as many ways as you possibly can.
12.Force yourself to be strong, physically and emotionally.
13.Always try to be better than you are, but don't judge yourself when it takes a long time to get where you want to be.
14.Find a cause that you truly care about and dedicate yourself to it wholeheartedly. It will give you a reason to keep going even when you feel like you have nothing else.
15. If you really want to do something that seems crazy, do it anyway.
16. Stop trying to impress other people. Only try to impress yourself. Don't do/buy/say things because others think you should and don't be ashamed to like what you really like.
17. Don't follow trends, but also don't stop doing something just because it becomes trendy.
18. Make your house/apartment/room/car your space. Stop worrying about making it look "good" and make it look "you" paint murals on your walls, buy mismatched furniture, cover your car in bumper stickers. Make it a place that feels good, not a place that feels presentable.
19. Stop caring about material possessions. No matter what our society tells you, they just don't matter.
20. Buy things used. They have more character and it's better for the environment.
21. Make yourself talk to people (that one is more for me than for you).
22. Designer labels are bullshit.
23. No matter what some people (like my dad) might say, using words like "shit" and "fuck" does not make you sound unintelligent. Sometimes it just makes you sound more passionate.
24. Being nice to people, even the ones who aren't nice to you, really does get you a long way. It also might get you an ulcer, but you decide what is more important.
25. Don't make yourself do things you don't want to do just because it's expected of you, but do make yourself do things you don't want to because it's needed of you.
26. Stop believing things just because people tell you to, no matter who those people are. Look at an issue from all sides and then decide for yourself.
27. Don't feel guilty for being who you are.
28. If you feel depressed, don't just take a pill, change your life.
29. Stop treating symptoms and start fixing the underlying problems, in all aspects of your life.
30. Be your own canvas.
31. Never condone something you don't believe in just to avoid looking like an asshole (that one is more for me than you too).
32. There is nothing quite like a good adrenaline rush.
33. Sometime the people who seem the most together are actually the most fucked-up.
34. Do things you're not sure you're capable of. Learning your true strength is extremely good for your self-esteem.
35.Finally- Pretty please stop eating animals! (Did you really think I was going to leave that one out?)
1.Never put yourself in a situation where you feel like an outcast. Surround yourself with people who understand you. If you have to be surrounded by people who don't understand you, make them understand.
2.If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty, stop doing it.
3.Make yourself eat healthy food, even if you don't like it. You will learn to like it (trust me) and pretty soon all that junk food you've been eating will start to taste like shit.
4.Don't be afraid to change your appearance as drastically and frequently as you want to. Nobody ever said you have to look the same way all the time, and sometimes a fresh look feels like a fresh start.
5.Find a type of exercise that you enjoy and do it every day, preferably in the morning. It makes the whole day go easier.
6.Try to understand people, even people you don't like. Everyone has a reason for being the way they are and understanding that makes it a lot easier not to hate them (sometimes it's still really hard though).
7.Music makes everything better. Play it loud to drown out the sound of your own thoughts when you need to. Or sing (even in your head) if you are in a place where you can't play music.
8.Spend time in nature.
9.Create something.....anything.
10.Give people the benefit of the doubt but never count on them too much.
11.Learn to be self-sufficient in as many ways as you possibly can.
12.Force yourself to be strong, physically and emotionally.
13.Always try to be better than you are, but don't judge yourself when it takes a long time to get where you want to be.
14.Find a cause that you truly care about and dedicate yourself to it wholeheartedly. It will give you a reason to keep going even when you feel like you have nothing else.
15. If you really want to do something that seems crazy, do it anyway.
16. Stop trying to impress other people. Only try to impress yourself. Don't do/buy/say things because others think you should and don't be ashamed to like what you really like.
17. Don't follow trends, but also don't stop doing something just because it becomes trendy.
18. Make your house/apartment/room/car your space. Stop worrying about making it look "good" and make it look "you" paint murals on your walls, buy mismatched furniture, cover your car in bumper stickers. Make it a place that feels good, not a place that feels presentable.
19. Stop caring about material possessions. No matter what our society tells you, they just don't matter.
20. Buy things used. They have more character and it's better for the environment.
21. Make yourself talk to people (that one is more for me than for you).
22. Designer labels are bullshit.
23. No matter what some people (like my dad) might say, using words like "shit" and "fuck" does not make you sound unintelligent. Sometimes it just makes you sound more passionate.
24. Being nice to people, even the ones who aren't nice to you, really does get you a long way. It also might get you an ulcer, but you decide what is more important.
25. Don't make yourself do things you don't want to do just because it's expected of you, but do make yourself do things you don't want to because it's needed of you.
26. Stop believing things just because people tell you to, no matter who those people are. Look at an issue from all sides and then decide for yourself.
27. Don't feel guilty for being who you are.
28. If you feel depressed, don't just take a pill, change your life.
29. Stop treating symptoms and start fixing the underlying problems, in all aspects of your life.
30. Be your own canvas.
31. Never condone something you don't believe in just to avoid looking like an asshole (that one is more for me than you too).
32. There is nothing quite like a good adrenaline rush.
33. Sometime the people who seem the most together are actually the most fucked-up.
34. Do things you're not sure you're capable of. Learning your true strength is extremely good for your self-esteem.
35.Finally- Pretty please stop eating animals! (Did you really think I was going to leave that one out?)
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Talkin' 'Bout My Generation.
Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am in no way an optimist. As much as I try to look at the bright side of things, I'm just not very good at it. One thing I am optimistic about though is the future of the animal rights movement. I truly believe that there will come a day when animal rights will be a reality and not just a dream. The thing I am not necessarily so optimistic about is WHEN that day will come. That depends entirely on us.....and that is what worries me.
I have met so many people who look to the past with reverence for those generations who have taken a stand, those who fought for what they believed in (in fact I am one of those people). I have heard people complain that our generation doesn't stand for anything. I think that is true, for the most part, but it doesn't have to be. People don't seem to understand that they have the ability to change that, all they have to do is choose to stand for something.
We have so many things going for us that past generations didn't have. We have all of this amazing technology at our disposal. It would be so easy for us to come together for a cause. People all over the world can communicate with each other anytime they want. Why aren't we using this ability to accomplish something? Don't get me wrong some of us are, or are at least trying, but most of us aren't. Most people use this technology to complain about their day and talk about what they are watching on TV.
I find myself so frustrated with society as a whole. I get so angry at the fact that my entire generation seems so shallow and selfish. But when I really think about it, I don't think that's the real problem. I think the problem is that, for whatever reason, most of us don't believe we can change anything. I think the average person wants to make a difference. People want something to stand for, something to fight for. I think that's why so many people seem to intentionally create conflict in their personal lives. They want to fight for something, but they don't have anything worth fighting for so they just make something up.
What we need is a cause that we can all get behind. We need a common goal to bring us all together. I truly believe that animal rights is the cause of our generation. The people of the past who we look to for inspiration are always the ones who have fought for the rights of those who are being oppressed. Who in our society is more oppressed than the animals we torture and kill every day? Someday animal rights WILL be a reality, of this I have no doubt. It's up to us whether or not we want to help bring that about. You and I may not live to see the day when animals are no longer enslaved, rest assured, someone will. When that day comes, do you want to be remembered as one of those who lead the way or one of those who stood in the way?
I have met so many people who look to the past with reverence for those generations who have taken a stand, those who fought for what they believed in (in fact I am one of those people). I have heard people complain that our generation doesn't stand for anything. I think that is true, for the most part, but it doesn't have to be. People don't seem to understand that they have the ability to change that, all they have to do is choose to stand for something.
We have so many things going for us that past generations didn't have. We have all of this amazing technology at our disposal. It would be so easy for us to come together for a cause. People all over the world can communicate with each other anytime they want. Why aren't we using this ability to accomplish something? Don't get me wrong some of us are, or are at least trying, but most of us aren't. Most people use this technology to complain about their day and talk about what they are watching on TV.
I find myself so frustrated with society as a whole. I get so angry at the fact that my entire generation seems so shallow and selfish. But when I really think about it, I don't think that's the real problem. I think the problem is that, for whatever reason, most of us don't believe we can change anything. I think the average person wants to make a difference. People want something to stand for, something to fight for. I think that's why so many people seem to intentionally create conflict in their personal lives. They want to fight for something, but they don't have anything worth fighting for so they just make something up.
What we need is a cause that we can all get behind. We need a common goal to bring us all together. I truly believe that animal rights is the cause of our generation. The people of the past who we look to for inspiration are always the ones who have fought for the rights of those who are being oppressed. Who in our society is more oppressed than the animals we torture and kill every day? Someday animal rights WILL be a reality, of this I have no doubt. It's up to us whether or not we want to help bring that about. You and I may not live to see the day when animals are no longer enslaved, rest assured, someone will. When that day comes, do you want to be remembered as one of those who lead the way or one of those who stood in the way?
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Homecoming/ My New Business
Well everyone I am, once again, back in West Virginia. While I'm still not exactly thrilled to be here, so far I do feel okay about it. It's really good to see all of my family again, both the human and nonhuman members. Though I must admit, I do feel a bit like I left some family back in Acton as well. Everyone on the staff was wonderful and I am going to miss working with people who understand and share my values. It's hard to come back to a place where compassion is the exception and not the rule. I also got VERY attached to the animals there and, while I knew I was coming back here to be with the animals who are in my care, I couldn't help but feel a bit like I was abandoning the ones I had grown to love so much in California. Thank you so much to all of you for being so wonderful! I miss you all.
Despite the fact that I have always wanted to move somewhere else, I have realized that it just may not be feasible and West Virginia definitely does have it's good points. It truly is a beautiful state and one of the few that is still not completely overrun by the expansion of civilization. However, if I am going to live here, I am going to have to make some changes. I just can't go on feeling like my life has no meaning and I can't go on feeling like I am the only person here who cares about animal rights. I have to find some way to work toward something positive in my life. I have to find a way to make a difference no matter how difficult that may be in West Virginia.
I have so many things that I want to do in my life, so many dreams and ideas for making the world, or at least my little part of it, a better place. But I have to find a place to start. The one thing that bothers me most about living here is the knowledge that I am never going to find a job that I care about. As much as I would like to believe that someday I will be able to find a job doing something that relates to animal rights in some way, I just don't think that is realistic. Those kinds of jobs are few and far between in even the most open-minded of places. However, I am just not willing to accept the fact that I am going to have a miserable, worthless job for the rest of my life and always have to try to make time for the things I really care about on my days off. So I am going to do whatever I can to make a living doing something that is at least somewhat worthwhile.
As I said before, I have about a million ideas and I would love to do something with all of them at some point, but for now I just have to choose a starting point. My first step is going to be selling vegan/animal rights themed jewelry on Etsy. I know making jewelry with animals on it isn't exactly going to change the world, but at least it would allow me to do something I enjoy while spreading the message, and it will give me enough free time to do all of the things that are important to me.
For right now, I am starting out with just a few designs and if those sell I will make more. I would love to make more right now, but alas, I am too poor to buy more beads. If anyone has any recommendations or requests for things they would like to see please let me know. I can't promise that I will do all of them, but I will do my best.
Now that I am back I am also going to try to get back into this blog. I will try to keep you all updated on any new developments and let you know any time I have new jewelry designs. Thank you for reading :)
For those who are interested, my shop is here http://www.etsy.com/shop/FlyingPigsJewelry and you can find Flying Pigs Jewelry on facebook.
Despite the fact that I have always wanted to move somewhere else, I have realized that it just may not be feasible and West Virginia definitely does have it's good points. It truly is a beautiful state and one of the few that is still not completely overrun by the expansion of civilization. However, if I am going to live here, I am going to have to make some changes. I just can't go on feeling like my life has no meaning and I can't go on feeling like I am the only person here who cares about animal rights. I have to find some way to work toward something positive in my life. I have to find a way to make a difference no matter how difficult that may be in West Virginia.
I have so many things that I want to do in my life, so many dreams and ideas for making the world, or at least my little part of it, a better place. But I have to find a place to start. The one thing that bothers me most about living here is the knowledge that I am never going to find a job that I care about. As much as I would like to believe that someday I will be able to find a job doing something that relates to animal rights in some way, I just don't think that is realistic. Those kinds of jobs are few and far between in even the most open-minded of places. However, I am just not willing to accept the fact that I am going to have a miserable, worthless job for the rest of my life and always have to try to make time for the things I really care about on my days off. So I am going to do whatever I can to make a living doing something that is at least somewhat worthwhile.
As I said before, I have about a million ideas and I would love to do something with all of them at some point, but for now I just have to choose a starting point. My first step is going to be selling vegan/animal rights themed jewelry on Etsy. I know making jewelry with animals on it isn't exactly going to change the world, but at least it would allow me to do something I enjoy while spreading the message, and it will give me enough free time to do all of the things that are important to me.
For right now, I am starting out with just a few designs and if those sell I will make more. I would love to make more right now, but alas, I am too poor to buy more beads. If anyone has any recommendations or requests for things they would like to see please let me know. I can't promise that I will do all of them, but I will do my best.
Now that I am back I am also going to try to get back into this blog. I will try to keep you all updated on any new developments and let you know any time I have new jewelry designs. Thank you for reading :)
For those who are interested, my shop is here http://www.etsy.com/shop/FlyingPigsJewelry and you can find Flying Pigs Jewelry on facebook.
Monday, January 30, 2012
The Opportunity of a Lifetime
I'm sorry there was no blog last week, but things have gotten a little crazy around here lately. There may not be regular blogs for a while. I will try to keep you guys updated from time to time, but I make no promises. You see, tomorrow at this time I will be on an airplane bound for California.
This may seem rather sudden, and believe me it is. Nine days ago I received an email from Farm Sanctuary stating that they were in dire need of interns at both of their California shelters. They wanted to know if I would be able to come and help out. At first I was in complete shock. I mean how often does someone ask you to pick up your entire life and fly to the other side of the country in less than two weeks. Then I was ecstatic. I have ALWAYS wanted to go to California and had just never had a good excuse before. Now here was an opportunity to work with an organization I love, doing the one thing that really matters to me, and go to the one place I have always wanted to go. Finally I was scared shitless. I have never been on an airplane before. I have never been that far from home before. I would have to quit my job without giving a two week notice, something I would never have considered doing before. Most importantly, I would have to find a way for Riley and Petunia to be cared for while I was gone.
I spent the whole next day having a mini-nervous-breakdown. I had no idea where to even begin getting ready for this. Somehow, probably for the first time in my life, everything just sort of fell into place. My dad agreed to take care of Riley and Petunia for me (Thank you Dad!). My boss didn't even get angry when I told her why I was leaving (Thank you Cheryl even though I know you won't read this!). My mom helped me book my flight and plan all of the things I would need to take (Thank you Mother!). My dad and my sister are going to drive me to the airport even though we have to leave at 4am (Thank you Caty and again Dad!). Perhaps most surprisingly, last night I packed all of the clothes I had planned to take and they all fit into ONE suitcase (Thank you gods of last-minute packing!).
So yes, tomorrow morning I will be on an airplane, for the first time in my life, on my way to Farm Sanctuary's Animal Acres on the outskirts of LA (Thank you Farm Sanctuary!).
This may seem rather sudden, and believe me it is. Nine days ago I received an email from Farm Sanctuary stating that they were in dire need of interns at both of their California shelters. They wanted to know if I would be able to come and help out. At first I was in complete shock. I mean how often does someone ask you to pick up your entire life and fly to the other side of the country in less than two weeks. Then I was ecstatic. I have ALWAYS wanted to go to California and had just never had a good excuse before. Now here was an opportunity to work with an organization I love, doing the one thing that really matters to me, and go to the one place I have always wanted to go. Finally I was scared shitless. I have never been on an airplane before. I have never been that far from home before. I would have to quit my job without giving a two week notice, something I would never have considered doing before. Most importantly, I would have to find a way for Riley and Petunia to be cared for while I was gone.
I spent the whole next day having a mini-nervous-breakdown. I had no idea where to even begin getting ready for this. Somehow, probably for the first time in my life, everything just sort of fell into place. My dad agreed to take care of Riley and Petunia for me (Thank you Dad!). My boss didn't even get angry when I told her why I was leaving (Thank you Cheryl even though I know you won't read this!). My mom helped me book my flight and plan all of the things I would need to take (Thank you Mother!). My dad and my sister are going to drive me to the airport even though we have to leave at 4am (Thank you Caty and again Dad!). Perhaps most surprisingly, last night I packed all of the clothes I had planned to take and they all fit into ONE suitcase (Thank you gods of last-minute packing!).
So yes, tomorrow morning I will be on an airplane, for the first time in my life, on my way to Farm Sanctuary's Animal Acres on the outskirts of LA (Thank you Farm Sanctuary!).
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Ms. Nobody
So I watched this movie the other day called Mr. Nobody. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would highly recommend it. It covered a lot of really interesting concepts (time travel, alternate dimensions, etc.) and stars Jared Leto who, for anyone who doesn't know, is a fairly outspoken vegan. Anyway, the basic idea of the movie is that it tracks all of the different lives that Jared Leto's character, Nemo, could have had. There were certain pivotal decisions that were very difficult for him and greatly affected the outcome of his life, but there were also very small decisions that seemed almost inconsequential and had an even greater effect.
Of course I had heard of this concept before, that each decision we make creates a new universe in which we made the opposite choice, but every time I am reminded of this idea I find that I can't stop thinking about it. I find myself wondering, first of all, if there is another version of me somewhere who did things better, who actually made something of her life. To some extent I find this thought rather comforting, like maybe somewhere, in some other dimension, I really am making a difference. It also makes me wonder how much our choices can actually determine who we are. How different could I be as a person if I had done things differently? Is there are version of me out there who isn't vegan? Maybe there's a Whitney who doesn't care about animal rights at all, or the planet, or other people. Maybe there's a me who is completely selfish and obsessed with material possessions. I find that a bit disturbing to say the least.
I suppose both of those things are pretty irrelevant, because alas I am not Nemo, I will never know what could have happened if I had done that instead of this. What is relevant though is the fact that each tiny decision in our lives has the potential to change everything. Not that every decision is crucial, but that we never know which ones are. What if I actually manage to leave for work on time tomorrow? For all I know, that could be the most life-changing choice I ever make. Maybe having the extra time will allow me to be less rushed and I will notice something that I otherwise never would have noticed. Maybe I will witness something that will change my entire outlook on life just because I wasn't in a hurry. It's possible that getting to work a couple of minutes early would get me there just in time to meet some person who would want to help me with my animal sanctuary/ community idea (not likely, but you never know). Or maybe leaving the house a few minutes early will put me in just the right place to be hit by a bus. Who knows.
So I guess the whole point of this post is that, as if I didn't have a hard enough time making decisions, now I have been reminded that even the seemingly unimportant ones can have huge consequences. So hooray for that! On a lighter note, according to Mr. Nobody, in the future everyone will have a pig that they carry around with them all the time. That should give you all something to look forward to .
Of course I had heard of this concept before, that each decision we make creates a new universe in which we made the opposite choice, but every time I am reminded of this idea I find that I can't stop thinking about it. I find myself wondering, first of all, if there is another version of me somewhere who did things better, who actually made something of her life. To some extent I find this thought rather comforting, like maybe somewhere, in some other dimension, I really am making a difference. It also makes me wonder how much our choices can actually determine who we are. How different could I be as a person if I had done things differently? Is there are version of me out there who isn't vegan? Maybe there's a Whitney who doesn't care about animal rights at all, or the planet, or other people. Maybe there's a me who is completely selfish and obsessed with material possessions. I find that a bit disturbing to say the least.
I suppose both of those things are pretty irrelevant, because alas I am not Nemo, I will never know what could have happened if I had done that instead of this. What is relevant though is the fact that each tiny decision in our lives has the potential to change everything. Not that every decision is crucial, but that we never know which ones are. What if I actually manage to leave for work on time tomorrow? For all I know, that could be the most life-changing choice I ever make. Maybe having the extra time will allow me to be less rushed and I will notice something that I otherwise never would have noticed. Maybe I will witness something that will change my entire outlook on life just because I wasn't in a hurry. It's possible that getting to work a couple of minutes early would get me there just in time to meet some person who would want to help me with my animal sanctuary/ community idea (not likely, but you never know). Or maybe leaving the house a few minutes early will put me in just the right place to be hit by a bus. Who knows.
So I guess the whole point of this post is that, as if I didn't have a hard enough time making decisions, now I have been reminded that even the seemingly unimportant ones can have huge consequences. So hooray for that! On a lighter note, according to Mr. Nobody, in the future everyone will have a pig that they carry around with them all the time. That should give you all something to look forward to .
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Life Goals
It seems like everyone has all of these plans for how they want their lives to turn out, these distinct goals they want to achieve. They want to get married, they want to have kids, they want to get this certain job, they want to live in this kind of house, they want to drive this particular car, they want to make this much money, they want to travel here or there. I don't care about any of that. Honestly, I don't care about much of anything.
The only thing I really do want for my life is to feel like it had value. I would pretty much live anywhere and do anything if I could just feel like, when I die, I will leave some sort of mark. I want to feel that in some way the world will be a tiny bit better because of something I did.
Sure, there are things I would like to have in my life, but I would happily give up every one of them to know for sure that I made a difference. When I try to imagine how I want my life to turn out, I can imagine a million different scenarios and, most of the time, each one seems just as good as the next. I can picture myself living almost anywhere and doing almost anything, and being okay with it, as long as what I'm doing is furthering animal rights in some way. That's all I really want.
The truth is that I just don't place that much importance on my own life. The only important thing about my life is what I do with it. I realized a long time ago that I don't think I will ever be "happy" by most people's standards. As far back as I can remember I have never actually been happy so doing things to try and make myself happy seems a bit pointless. I think the best I can hope for in my life is to feel fulfilled. At this point I think I would take fulfilled over happy anyway.
I find it very disheartening when I look around and see all of these people who want all of these things in their lives, people who care so much about things that just seem so irrelevant in the long run, when all I want is for my life to matter. How is it that so many people want big houses and expensive cars and prestigious jobs and quite often they get those things, yet all I want is to not feel useless and I still can't seem to find a way to achieve that? Sorry about the rather depressing post.
The only thing I really do want for my life is to feel like it had value. I would pretty much live anywhere and do anything if I could just feel like, when I die, I will leave some sort of mark. I want to feel that in some way the world will be a tiny bit better because of something I did.
Sure, there are things I would like to have in my life, but I would happily give up every one of them to know for sure that I made a difference. When I try to imagine how I want my life to turn out, I can imagine a million different scenarios and, most of the time, each one seems just as good as the next. I can picture myself living almost anywhere and doing almost anything, and being okay with it, as long as what I'm doing is furthering animal rights in some way. That's all I really want.
The truth is that I just don't place that much importance on my own life. The only important thing about my life is what I do with it. I realized a long time ago that I don't think I will ever be "happy" by most people's standards. As far back as I can remember I have never actually been happy so doing things to try and make myself happy seems a bit pointless. I think the best I can hope for in my life is to feel fulfilled. At this point I think I would take fulfilled over happy anyway.
I find it very disheartening when I look around and see all of these people who want all of these things in their lives, people who care so much about things that just seem so irrelevant in the long run, when all I want is for my life to matter. How is it that so many people want big houses and expensive cars and prestigious jobs and quite often they get those things, yet all I want is to not feel useless and I still can't seem to find a way to achieve that? Sorry about the rather depressing post.
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