Crazy Dreams

Sorry there was no post for last week. I suppose I could blame it on the holidays, but that's not really the reason. Mostly I was just lazy and unmotivated last week. I still am this week, but I'm trying to make myself be productive. Anyway, to make up for my lack of posts last week, this week I am going to share with you some of the crazy, unrealistic ideas I come up with to make myself feel more motivated.

My sister and I have been talking a lot lately about moving away from West Virginia, specifically moving to California. Actually I have wanted to move to California for as long as I can remember. I used to talk about it all the time when I was a kid.

At first this was all just talk, because obviously I can't just pick up and move to the other side of the country. I have Riley and Petunia now, and I have no money. Then I started thinking about how nice it would be to start the sanctuary I've been wanting to start in a place that stays warm all the time, and how much easier it would be to sell animal rights T shirts in a place where 90% of the population doesn't like to go hunting. The more I think about it the more I'm able to convince myself that it actually makes sense.

Another (mostly insane) idea I have that would work much better in California than it would here is starting a sort of self-sustaining community. My dad has been talking, for a while now, about building "tiny houses." For those who don't know, they are exactly what the name implies, very small houses with basically just enough room to live and that's it. They are extremely efficient and very cheap to build compared to normal houses. Plus I just think they're cute.

So here's the idea; get a bunch of vegetarians/vegans together, buy a piece of land in California, stick a bunch of tiny houses on it, put up some solar panels, and there you go. We could have a fruit/ vegetable farm that would go along with the sanctuary. It would allow us to grow our own food and also make some extra money. Everyone who lived in the community could sort of share in the work of growing the food and caring for the animals at the sanctuary. We could have a little shop/cafe where we could have food made from the vegetables we grew and we could sell the T shirts and whatever else we wanted to.

So who's in?

Plans

So I mentioned, in a post a while back, this feeling I've been having of urgently needing to do something more with my life. I talked about feeling like nothing I was doing was making any sort of difference and how it all seemed so pointless. Well, it's only been getting worse. Lately I find myself not caring about anything anymore. I show up late for work every day. I don't even bother to do anything on my days off, most of the time. I ignore all of the things that need to be done around the house. I just can't make myself care about any of it anymore. I have to make some changes.

I also mentioned in that post that I had a tentative plan for changing my life. I would like to tell you all that plan now and I welcome any suggestions, criticisms, comments, anything you have to say. I want to get as much feedback as I can from everyone because I NEED this to work. I need to do whatever I can to make this happen because otherwise I don't know what to do.

So here's the plan. I am going to start a business. I want to sell environmentally-friendly, animal rights t shirts. The ultimate goal is to eventually make enough money from the t shirt business to start a small farm animal sanctuary, but for now I just want to stick with Riley and Petunia and focus on getting the business up and running.

I know this may not seem like the most original idea. There are quite a few places out there that sell animal rights t shirts, but I think I have some pretty good ideas that other people haven't come up with yet. Also, there aren't very many places to buy environmentally-friendly, animal rights stuff. I always feel just a little guilty when I buy things with animal rights messages, because I do care about the environment too and it seems sad that I can't support both of those things at the same time. I have decided that all of the things I sell will be either organic or recycled and printed with water-based ink.

I want to call the company Flying Pigs Clothing. To me the idea of flying pigs has several different meanings. First of all, it indicates a belief in things that may seem impossible to most people, you know like "Yeah, everyone will stop eating meat when pigs fly." Second, it relates to the fact that pigs, and all other animals, have so much more to them than people give them credit for. They can do, and feel, and know so much more than most people would ever believe. Sometimes I think they could fly if they really wanted to. The third meaning that is has for me is sort of as a memorial to all of the animals who have died because of our selfishness. As I have mentioned before, I am not a religious person. Still there is something very comforting about imagining all of these pig angels flying around somewhere. The biggest reason for calling it Flying Pigs Clothing though is that it was Riley and Petunia who really inspired me to do this. They are my flying pigs.

My sister has agreed to help me with this, because she is a much better artist than I am. I have this long list of ideas for t shirt designs, but they weren't really doing me much good since I couldn't actually draw them. So far she has drawn me an adorable logo and four shirt designs, which I think is a good place to start. The logo is two happy, smiling, flying pigs (a boy and a girl who look very much like two other pigs you might recognize) pulling banners behind them with the company name. We have one design that has a picture of a piece of cheese with the "no" symbol over it that says "Happy cows come from sanctuaries." There is another one that looks like those superman t shirts that I'm sure you've all seen, but instead of the S it has a V and underneath it says "You don't need superpowers to save the world. Another one is much more basic. In the center it says "Did your meal feel?" and in the background are all of these words like pain, fear, loneliness etc. The last one is the one I'm most excited about. It has a picture of a fox mask and it says "Ⓥ for Vegan". I'm not sure how many people will get it, but I hope a fair number will.

Anyway, as I said, I would love to hear any input you all have about any of this. Are there designs you do or don't like? Do you see any problem with the idea overall? How do you feel about the name? Do you think it gets the point across? please especially let me know if you have seen any of these designs, or ones very similar to them, elsewhere. Obviously some of them are sort of playing off of other things, but I don't want to steal someone else' ideas. Thank you in advance for any advice you can give, and thank you for reading.

Non-violence

I, like many vegans, pride myself on my non-violent lifestyle. I have never in my life been in a physical fight with anyone and have been in very few verbal fights. I try my best to approach every situation with as much patience and tolerance as I can, even when I'm dealing with someone who is not showing any patience or tolerance to me. As much as I have wanted to, many many times, I can't really imagine myself actually hurting anyone. It's just not who I am. There is one situation where I can imagine it though, and it's a bit frightening how angry I get just thinking about it.

I have seen an insanely high number of cases lately of police officers shooting dogs, frequently dogs who weren't trying to hurt anyone. In many cases the dogs were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A while back, my cousin told me about a cop threatening to shoot his dog. My cousin was at a friends house and his dog escaped and was just running up and down the street. My cousins neighbor called him to tell him that the dog had escaped, but by the time he got home someone else had called the police. There was a cop waiting at his house when he got there. My cousin called for the dog who was right up the street and he came running back, obviously having caused no real problem for anyone.

After my cousin got the dog safely back inside the cop said to him "I almost had to shoot your dog." When my cousin asked him why, he said "I saw the murder in his eyes." I have met this dog. He is a sweet, friendly, happy dog. The idea of him having "murder in his eyes" is completely absurd. My cousin replied "If you're going to shoot my dog, you better shoot me too." My sentiments exactly.

I also saw a story recently about Mike Tyson, who you may know is now vegan, which said that the first time he ever punched anyone it was a neighborhood bully who had killed one of his pigeons. Personally I'm pretty surprised that he didn't do more than punch the guy. I'm fairly certain I would have.

These may seem like weird things for me to worry about, and maybe they are, but I know how a lot of people feel about animal rights activists, especially where I live. Despite the fact that I am not in the habit of being involved in illegal activities, I never rule out the possibility of the cops randomly showing up at my house. I also never rule out the possibility of angry backwoods assholes deciding to do something to get back at the vegan girl for having the audacity to keep pigs at her house without slaughtering them.

I hope these fears are completely unfounded, but I'm not sure they are. I especially worry about Riley and Petunia. It's hard to keep an eye on them all the time because they're not in the house. I feel like they are completely exposed and it worries me, a lot.

Anyway, the whole point of this post is that the one situation in which I can imagine myself actually hurting someone is if they hurt someone, human or non-human, who I care about. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I would actually kill anyone. I don't think I could ever do that. I can see myself beating them to a bloody pulp though.

Some people would probably think "You're just some vegan girl who has never been in a fight. What are you going to do?" Well, I'll tell you right now, I am fairly certain that in that situation I could take on the biggest, dumbest, camouflage-clad meat-enthusiast in the state of West Virginia and send him home with even less teeth than he had in the first place.

Leafleting is Like Retail

So yesterday I went leafleting at WVU. A few weeks ago Vegan Outreach emailed me and told me that Jon Camp, their director of outreach, would be coming to Morgantown and asked if I would like to help out. I agreed because I know how important leafleting is, but I must admit it was not something I was looking forward to.

I have only tried leafleting a couple of times before and it's been over a year since the last time I did it, mostly because that last time didn't go very well at all. I have always felt guilty for not enjoying leafleting, and even more guilty for not doing it anyway. I know how much of an impact it can have. The truth is, the few times I did it, it made me feel terrible. First of all, I felt like I wasn't doing a good job because I'm just not charismatic enough to engage people. The biggest problem I have with it though is that it kind of makes me lose faith in people. Not that I had much faith in people to begin with.

Leafleting is really all about the possibility of what might happen later. It's about believing that the people you give the pamphlets to will read them and make changes in their lives. The problem is, I'm not one of those "look on the bright side" people. I'm not very good at having faith that good things will happen later. I tend to only be able to focus on what's actually happening now. Well with leafleting that doesn't work very well. In my previous experience I found that most people just take the pamphlet and move on. Most of the time the only people who would bother to stop and say anything were the ones who just wanted to be assholes.

That being said, yesterday went much smoother than I had expected. I think that is due, at least in part, to my experience working in retail. Anyone who knows me knows how socially awkward I am, but after many years working with the public I have learned how to deal with customers pretty effectively. I find that I develop this entirely different personality when I'm at work. I smile all the time and say "hi" to everyone. I thank people for things that there's really no need to thank them for. I even have a different voice that I use when I talk to the customers. It's a bit softer and more high-pitched than my real voice. I've also gotten very good at taking shit from people without showing how angry I am. Apparently my work personality is pretty effective because I've actually heard customers telling the managers how "nice" and "polite" I am on several occasions.

Well yesterday I found myself using my work personality on the people at WVU. I stood there with this huge smile on my face and said "hi" to everyone in a cheery, high-pitched voice. Then whenever anyone made eye-contact with me, I used the same voice to say "can I give you one of these?" (yes I'm aware that's not proper grammar, but I live in West Virginia and no one here says "may I"). If they actually took the pamphlet I thanked them in an even more cheery voice.

I was rather surprised at how well it actually worked. I gave out a lot of pamphlets, most of the people I tried to hand them to actually took them and I only had one asshole all day. There were also two guys who were probably being assholes, but they were more subtle about it. So I just used my shit-taking skills to pretend that I didn't notice and continued telling them what the pamphlets were all about.

So I guess the lesson here is that.......sometimes it pays to be a doormat? I don't know.

Humor

A lot of "funny" meat-eaters out there may think that vegetarians and vegans have no sense of humor. What other explanation could there possibly be for us not laughing when they make hilarious jokes like "if we're not supposed to eat animals why are they made out of meat?" Well, there is a very good explanation. That's not fucking funny! In fact, that is so not funny that I want to rip your face off when you say it.

Shortly after Riley and Petunia (my adopted pigs, for those who don't know) came to live with me, some guy was driving by and saw me walking toward the barn. He stopped and asked me what was in there. When I told him they were two pigs he laughed and said "are their names ham bone and pork chop?" I'm sure he thought I was quite rude because, not only did I not laugh at his remarkable wit, I simply said "no" and walked away from him. Though I'm sure it did seem that way, I didn't do this to be rude. I did it because, had I tried to stay and talk to him, I would have said something much more rude than "no".

I have actually had several people make similar jokes about Riley and Petunia and I know at least most of them are not trying to upset me. They genuinely think they're being funny. But if I made a joke about murdering your family would you think it was funny? Riley and Petunia are my family. And when you make jokes about eating other animals it's like making a joke about murdering someone else' family, still not funny.

The truth is that most vegetarians, vegans and animal rights activists do have a sense of humor. Most of us are quite capable of laughing at ourselves. Personally, I will not be offended if you make fun of me, of vegans in general, of vegan food, of whatever. Just don't make fun of the animals who are suffering, because that will never be funny.

I am a fairly stereotypical vegan. I'm socially awkward. I dress weird. I eat strange things. I like animals better than people. I buy environmentally-friendly everything. And the list goes on. There is plenty of comedic material there. Make as many jokes about that as you want.

A lot of vegan food is pretty weird. It also happens to be quite delicious, healthy and not made of the flesh or secretions of tortured animals, but none the less it is kind of weird. Yesterday I happened upon this image

and thought it was hilarious! I love Tofurkey, but it is sort of inherently funny and most omnivores are rather horrified by it.

The point is, when animal rights activists don't think you're funny it's not because we're so full of ourselves that we can't take a joke. It's because what may seem like a joke to you is just a heartbreaking reminder of the fact that animals are being tortured and killed to us. Suffering isn't funny. If you took a moment to try and see things from our perspective, you might realize how horrible what you're saying sounds to us.

So the next time you see me, if you want to point out the fact that I am entirely incapable of having a normal conversation with another human, or inquire about the mud stains on my jeans (which are there because Riley and Petunia smear mud on me and I'm not willing to use chemical based laundry detergent to get it out) go right ahead. Just don't try to pretend that there is anything funny about what happens to animals in this society, because there isn't. Thanks.

Happy (ish) Thanksgiving

Well, it's that time of year again..... Thanksgiving. My most despised holiday. Last year there was a small bit of controversy over my holiday post, so this year I am going to try to be a little less offensive, a little. I'm not going to go into all of the reasons I hate the holidays again. So if you want to read my uncensored, angry rantings about Thanksgiving and Christmas I recommend you read my blog from last year http://thegirlwiththevegantattoo.blogspot.com/2010/12/happy-pretend-you-give-shit-so-your.html

I still feel that way about Thanksgiving, but I think this year is going to be better than last year. For one thing, I have decided not to go to any dinners where meat will be served. I have gotten to the point in my life where I'm done pretending to not be bothered by other people eating dead animals in front of me. That shouldn't be too hard though, because this year my entire immediate family is vegetarian and my sister is planning to make a vegan dinner.

The one thing that really makes Thanksgiving bearable for me though is Farm Sanctuary's Celebration FOR the Turkeys. This year my boyfriend Brian http://brianornduff.com/blog/ and I made the trip to Watkins Glen together. It was wonderful! Farm Sanctuary is just such a beautiful place, in every sense of the word. Being there and seeing all of the animals living the way they were meant to live, in happiness and peace, always gives me hope and sort of rejuvenates me. Seeing so many people come together to honor these animals instead of hurt them makes me believe that someday we really will be able to end their exploitation.

I got a chance to reconnect with some of the friends I made during my internship, both human and nonhuman. I was especially happy to get to see Emily Pig again. She was the one animal I felt the greatest connection with during my internship. I also got to meet the farm's new resident, some ridiculously adorable piglets and incredibly cuddly calves. Sadly, I did receive some bad news while I was there. I found out about the loss of a very good friend, Dean-o Rooster. It is heartbreaking to think about him not being at the farm anymore, but knowing that he had a long and happy life filled with the love of so many great people makes it much easier.

I found the speakers they had this year to be especially inspiring. Susie Coston, the national shelter director, has such a connection to all of the animals at the farm that she is always able to talk about them in a way that makes you feel like you know them personally. Gene Baur, Farm Sanctuary's co-founder, flew in form the California shelter in order to be there. I always love hearing from him, because Farm Sanctuary has done so many wonderful things and without him none of them would have been possible. Leilani Munter is a female, vegan, environmentalist, race-car driver. Just the fact that she exists means that things are changing in the world.

Seth Tibbott, the founder of Tofurky, was the one who left me feeling the most motivated though. He said something that Brian and I both felt really resonated with us. I wish I could remember the exact quote, but alas I cannot. It was something like this though. "If someone tells you something is impossible, just do it anyway and then later you can look back and decide whether it was impossible or not." I think that pretty much sums up the way we all need view not only our own lives, but also the entire animal rights movement. Most people out there will tell you that ending animal suffering is impossible, but we have to just do it anyway. Then later we, and all future generations, can look back and decide whether it was impossible or not.

Lies

So many people think that animal rights advocates are lying, or at the very least exaggerating, when we talk about what happens to animals in our society. They think we make the conditions animals are kept in seem worse than they really are, and that we make the animals seem more aware of what's happening to them than they really are. They think we make up all of these horrible stories about things that happen to animals on factory farms, and yet they believe everything they hear from the animal agriculture representatives.

People even believe those fucking "happy cow" commercials. Would you be happy if you were raped every year and then had your baby, the only positive thing that has every happen to you in your life, ripped away from you as soon as he was born? Would you think " it's just so sunny and warm here I can't even feel the crippling grief of losing my baby, or the pain from the pus-filled growths that have developed on my breast from the constant abuse"? Somehow I doubt that you would. I've watched a lot of horrifying videos of animal abuse and I have never seen anything more heartbreaking than a mother cow watching her baby be taken away. Trust me, no matter what state she lives in, she will never be happy.

Why do people believe the "happy cow" people and not us? We have nothing to gain from lying to people and they have everything to gain. Animal right activists would have no personal benefit if the entire world stopped eating meat tomorrow. None of us are going to get rich from convincing people not to eat eggs. We won't become famous or powerful by getting you to drink soymilk. The only thing we will ever get from achieving our goals is the comfort of knowing we helped to create a better world for nonhuman animals. The people who are truly dedicated to fighting for animal rights actually make large personal and financial sacrifices in order to further the cause. Some even risk their own freedom in order to provide freedom for animals. Still, somehow, people assume we're the ones who are lying.

The animal agriculture industry, on the other hand, depends entirely on convincing people to use their products. If they can't get you to buy meat, milk and eggs they lose everything, and "everything" is a lot. They know you wouldn't buy something that you knew caused extreme suffering, so they just tell you that it doesn't. The point is, the people who own the large meat, dairy and egg companies have gotten very, very rich from lying to you about what happens on their farms.

So here's my question; why would you believe the people who can become millionaires by lying to you and not the people who have absolutely nothing to gain from it?

Purpose

Once again I have been neglecting my blog for quite a while. Sorry about that. Even though I don't really seem to do much of anything, I somehow manage to always run out of time to do the things that are important to me. One of those things is writing this blog and, once again, I am going to make an effort to keep up with it.

Lately I have been getting this feeling that I (desperately) need to do something that matters, something that makes a difference, something that has some sort of impact on the world. I feel like this basically all of the time, but lately the feeling has been much more urgent and somewhat crippling. I find it incredibly hard to force myself to do all of the stupid mundane shit that I have to do in order to exist in this society when I am painfully aware of the fact that none of it actually matters in the long run. Why should I go to work when my job is meaningless? Why should I do dishes or laundry or go grocery shopping or even get out of bed when there are horrible things happening in our world and nothing I do does anything to stop them.

I had hoped that adopting Riley and Petunia would help to alleviate this feeling to some extent but, the truth is, it has only made it stronger. Really getting to know Riley and Petunia and loving them so much has made it that much harder to know that so many other animals who are just as wonderful and amazing as they are, and have just as many beautiful individual qualities, are facing unimaginable suffering every day. I have always been infuriated, disgusted and deeply saddened by our society's treatment of nonhuman animals but now, whenever I think about it, I can't help but imagine Riley and Petunia in those other animals' places and it is utterly heartbreaking.

I think the other reason that I seem to feel worse about my life in general since adopting Riley and Petunia is that I now have this one aspect of my life that actually matters. Suddenly there is this one thing I do that has real value and it just makes everything else seem all the more useless. I dread going to work every day because, no matter what job I'm doing, it just seems so insignificant compared to the terrible things that are happening to innocent beings all over the world. Our culture puts so much emphasis on a persons "career" that we end up being defined, not by who we are, but by the jobs we have. I don't want to be defined by some job that I only have because I need the money. I want to be an animal rights activist. That's who I really am. That's how I want people to see me.

I hate feeling like I have to save the things I truly care about for my day off and I really hate feeling like I used up all of my energy at work so that I don't feel like doing the things I truly care about anymore. The only time I'm able to feel good about myself is when I'm doing something to help animals in some way. I need to find a way to do that. I have to find a way to do that.

I actually have a, tentative, plan for doing something better with my life and I will let everyone know if I get to the point where I actually think it might be feasible. Also, I will try to make my next blog a little more timely and a little less depressing. Thank you to anyone who actually still bothers to read these.

Riley and Petunia 2

I feel like Riley, Petunia and I finally really bonded last night. Ever since they arrived I have felt like they have mostly just been tolerating my affection. I mean they did seem to enjoy the attention, at least sometimes, but it never seemed like they were especially fond of me in particular. It was like I was just the one who happened to be there. Last night was different though.

The last week or so, we have gotten into the routine of bedtime-belly-rubs. After they eat and I shut the barn door for the night, they will both lay down and I will sit on the floor between them and stretch my arms out as far as I can to try and reach both bellies at the same time. I have really appreciated this time with them. It has made all of the work (and all of the mess) completely worth it.

Last night was something even more special though. They came inside and laid down, as usual, and I sat on the floor and rubbed their bellies, as usual. Then, when they were done with their belly-rubs, they both stood up and stepped closer to me. Petunia just came over and stood right up against me, and Riley sort of hung his head over my lap. I reached over and put my arms around both of them and started petting their cheeks, Riley seems to especially enjoy this. I looked at their faces and they both looked right into my eyes. It felt like we were connecting more than we ever had before. Then they both put their noses down and started gently rooting at my legs and my back and rubbing their faces on my arms. I don't even know how to explain it, but it felt like a sign of love. It felt like they were accepting me as their family.

I am very grateful for this experience with them. Since I adopted Riley and Petunia, I have heard from so many people who knew them at Farm Sanctuary and, while I have greatly appreciated all of the encouragement these people have offered, I had started to wonder if I did the wrong thing by taking Riley and Petunia away from so many people who loved them so much. I had started to wonder if I could ever make them feel as loved as they did at the farm. After last night, I feel like I can. 

Vegan Artists

I have a tendency to get very emotionally invested in my favorite artists. I like music, movies, books etc. that allow me to feel a connection to those involved in creating them. For this reason, I am always looking for artists who share my beliefs. The truth is that I don't like feeling emotionally invested in people who don't understand my values. That happens enough in real life, I don't need it to happen in entertainment too.

A while back, I spent a rather absurd amount of time desperately searching the internet for evidence that my favorite actors, musicians, writers etc. were vegetarian or vegan. I actually had some luck, but not as much as I had hoped for, and ended up wishing I had never looked in the first place. I had been deluding myself that, because I loved these people's art, I must have a lot in common with them and my search left me feeling very disheartened.

After that I decided that perhaps the best thing to do would be to intentionally seek out artists who were vegetarian or vegan and see if I liked them. There are actually quite a lot of them out there. The problem is that I also have rather unusual taste in just about everything. So the chances of someone being vegan and also creating something that I enjoy are somewhat slim. I have found myself trying to like things that I otherwise might not, just because vegans were involved in creating them. I think it may have actually been good for me. It has expanded my tastes quite a bit and I have learned to like a lot of new things.

The only real problem with this is that most people don't take veganism as seriously as I do. Just because someone is vegan today does not mean that they will be tomorrow. Knowing that my favorite actors, musicians, whatever, used to share my beliefs but then threw them away is somehow much more upsetting than knowing that they never understood in the first place. I do understand that veganism can be somewhat difficult for some people, especially if they weren't that committed to it in the first place, but it's still very hard to find out that someone I identified so much with has abandoned something that is so important to me. 

What I can't help but be infuriated by though, is people who used to be vegan suddenly deciding that veganism is completely stupid and ridiculous. I recently saw an interview with Ginnifer Goodwin who, some of you may know, was a rather outspoken vegan for a short time. She was even the spokesperson for Farm Sanctuary's Celebration FOR the Turkeys a few years back. Well, it turns out she's not anymore. During the interview she basically made it sound like she had lost her mind for a while and had finally regained her sanity. She talked about the fact that the rest of her family was still vegan and how much she hated having dinner with them. She described her annoyance with their commitment to veganism by saying "Are you serious? Let's get some cheese in this house." I can't understand how someone who used to be so dedicated to a cause could suddenly be so callous, even to her own family. I can't imagine how hurt I would be to see a member of my family on TV talking about my beliefs with such disrespect.

The other, and probably much more important, issue with celebrity ex-vegans is the amount of exposure they get. When a celebrity who used to be vegan suddenly starts speaking out against veganism, people listen. When someone is on TV talking about how hard it is to be vegan or the (fictional) health problems they developed as a result of not eating meat, other people use that to reinforce their own desire to maintain their current eating habits. As sad as it is, in our culture celebrities have an enormous amount of power and influence. When someone does what Ginnifer Goodwin did, it can be a huge blow to the cause.

So here is my plea to any vegan artists out there. Be outspoken about veganism. Tell people about all of the benefits. Tell them how easy it really is. Most importantly tell them why you're vegan. And if you decide to give it up, be honest about why. It's not because you had health problems. It's not because it was just too hard. It's not because you realized that eating meat wasn't so unethical after all. It's because you got selfish. That's the only excuse there is. You decided that eating a fucking hamburger was more important than your beliefs. Either own up to that or (PLEASE!) just keep your mouth shut about the whole thing. By the way, that goes for non-famous vegans too. We all have some amount of influence and we need to use it to our advantage if we are ever going to change the world.

The Arrival of Riley and Petunia/ The Resurrection of My Long-Forgotten Blog

Anyone who followed my blog probably noticed that I didn't exactly deliver on my promise to chronicle my experience at Farm Sanctuary. There are several reasons for this, which I am not going to get into right now. Lets just say that the main reason was my usual lack of motivation. Since I didn't write anything for the two months I spent in Watkins Glen, I felt kind of ridiculous just starting back where I left off when I got back. So I have been waiting for a good topic to start back on. I think this is about as good as I could have hoped for.

Here is a bit of backstory. While I was interning at Farm Sanctuary I met two wonderful piglets, Riley and Petunia. They were adorable and sweet and I (and, I'm pretty sure, everyone else who met them) fell in love with them instantly. Petunia was brand new to the farm and overflowing with energy and enthusiasm. Riley was a bit older and more reserved, but just as friendly and loving despite the trauma he had endured before finding his way to Farm Sanctuary.

Riley was rescued from a stockyard by a brave and compassionate Farm Sanctuary employee who witnessed his suffering and saved him from a painful death. Despite the best efforts of everyone at the farm and the veterinary staff at Cornell, Riley was left blind in one eye and with his head permanently tilted to one side from a severe infection. Petunia was born with a hernia and was "donated" to Cornell so that veterinary students could practice performing surgery on her. She would have been euthanized had it not been for the fact that Cornell was very familiar with Farm Sanctuary. They agreed to save her if Farm Sanctuary would pay for the surgery. So after her surgery she came to live at the farm.

I got to know Riley and Petunia very well during my internship and was very sad to think of leaving them when it was over. About a week before my last day, the shelter director mentioned that she was planning to adopt out Riley and Petunia. As soon as I heard that, I knew that I had to be the one to adopt them. Thankfully, she agreed that I would make a good pig guardian. So when I got back to West Virginia my dad and I started work on a fence and a barn. After a very lengthy process, and a lot of help from my co-workers, we ended up with a charming, mint-green, barn and an acre of pasture. Then we just had to wait for them to arrive. 

The staff at Farm Sanctuary scheduled Riley and Petunia's arrival for 8:00am July 9th. I spent the last couple of days before they got here making sure that everything was just right, to make the transition as easy as possible for them. I woke up at 5:00 on the 9th, and sat around for hours waiting for the truck from Farm Sanctuary, and worrying about all the things that could go wrong. At 10:30 they finally arrived.

Apparently the two men entrusted with Riley and Petunia had left Watkins Glen at midnight and driven straight through. But their GPS had decided to take the scenic route and had gotten them lost in the ridiculous labyrinth that is the back roads of West Virginia. The fact that they didn't just turn back is rather remarkable to me. Instead they somehow managed to guide an enormous trailer up and down the most narrow, winding, pot-hole-infested "roads" you can imagine and find their way to a place most people, even in this area, have never heard of. For that, they have my utmost respect and gratitude.

 I had prepared myself for the fact that Riley and Petunia would be extremely upset by the whole moving process and terrified by their completely alien surroundings. I was ready to give them their space and wait patiently for the day when they would finally get to know me again and let me come near them. I was sure that they would not remember me, and therefore probably not trust me at all. I half expected them to hide in their barn and cower whenever I came by. It turns out this was not something I needed to worry about.

When they arrived, they stepped out of the trailer as if it was completely natural for them to be on the road for ten and a half hours and then find themselves in a place they have never seen before surrounded by people they don't know. As soon as my parents and I went into the barn, they acted like we were all old friends. I like to think it's, at least partly, because they remembered me but this may just be wishful thinking. I'm pretty sure I would never associate me, as I look now, with me, as I looked all bundled up in layer upon layer of thick clothing and the absurdly bright, orange, tasseled hat I wore the entire time I was at the farm. But whatever the reason, their immediate friendliness alleviated much of my anxiety about the whole thing.

Riley and Petunia have now been living with me for over a week and I think we are starting to get the kinks worked out of our system. My dad and I built them a pond to discourage swimming in the water bowl, which seems to have been very effective. I've learned to drop the food bowls over the fence to protect myself from being tackled. I discovered that apples are far easier for them to eat when they have been cut in half and that carrots look rather disgusting when they have been frozen and thawed, but are apparently much tastier that way. I have also learned that both Riley and Petunia love company and will follow us all over the field, as long as they aren't trying to eat. If they are trying to eat, everyone else ceases to exist. I have noticed how much they love each other and that they don't seem to spend any time apart. If they do get separated they play their own version of Marco Polo to compensate for the tall weeds and Riley's poor vision. Of course, once again, if food is present all bets are off.

Well, this post has gotten quite long enough. I will be posting updates (hopefully) regularly and (again hopefully) there will be pictures on Facebook soon. If anyone is interested in visiting Riley and Petunia please contact me. They are quite fond of visitors, especially visitors who bring snacks.

Moving On

Last night I said goodbye to my closest friend. Sometime today her plane will be landing in Chicago. We have known each other practically our entire lives and been best friends since, I think, the first day we met. It's sad for me to think that I don't know when I'll see her again but mostly I feel hopeful, possibly for the first time in my life. I am so happy for her! She and I have both been wanting to get out of West Virginia for as long as I can remember. Now we both finally are. Sure, there is a chance that it won't work out for either of us, but I think it will. It has to.

I don't know if I am really the kind of person who believes in "signs" or whatever you want to call them, but it does seem like things have just sort of fallen together recently. I was accepted for the internship at Farm Sanctuary on my birthday and my friend was offered an amazing deal on an apartment in Chicago on Christmas day. I think it's safe to say that this year we each got the greatest present we could have hoped for. She left today and I am leaving exactly one week from now.

Next week I will be saying goodbye to everyone else. I will be leaving for New York next Saturday and, as pathetic as it is at twenty four years old, it will be the first time I will be away from my family for any length of time. Even during my brief stint in college I was living in Morgantown, only an hour away, and I came home almost every weekend. Sometimes my sister would even come and stay with me at my dorm. I truly hope that this internship somehow leads to a new life but, if it does, it will be hard to walk away form people who have always been so important to me.

It is true that my internship at Farm Sanctuary will only last for three months. So It's not exactly my ticket out of  West Virginia for good but I keep telling myself that once I take this initial step the rest will be easy. For the first time in my life I will be doing something that truly matters to me, something I can really feel good about, something that makes me believe that my life is worthwhile. I can only hope that after this experience I will know what I really want and not be willing to come back here and settle for the life I've had so far.

There are many people here who I care for very much and there are some very good things about this place, but I just don't belong here and I have known that for a long, long time. My goal is to not have to move back to West Virginia after my internship. Either I will love Watkins Glen and decide to stay there or I will just pick a new place and go. Anyone who knows me very well knows that I tend to come up with ideas like this all the time, and so far none of them have worked out. I suddenly decide "Oh, I'm going to go here!" or " I know, I'll do this!" and then later I realize that the idea was ridiculous and I just end up feeling like an idiot. There is a good chance that this one will be no different from any of the others.

The only thing that might make this one different is that this is the first time I have actually taken any sort of step to get where I want to be. I have signed up for this internship. I have paid my deposit. I have packed (at least some of) my stuff. The internship is going to happen. I can only hope that after it's finished I will know what to do next, and be brave enough to do it.


Rachel- Thank you for being such an amazing friend and good luck with your wonderful new life in Chicago!

If Nothing Matters There's Nothing to Save.

I recently read Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. This is an excellent book for anyone who is new to, or has been considering, vegetarianism/veganism. For more serious vegans, it is definitely still worth reading but you may find yourself getting a bit frustrated with him at times, because he is obviously not an animal rights activist. He is, in fact, just a guy who wants to make sure he raises his kid the right way.

Eating Animals actually began when Foer decided to learn about factory farming in order to determine whether or not he should raise his son to eat meat. I find this very admirable. I wish everyone would think about the way their lifestyle affects their children, and ultimately all the generations that come after them. In most cases, the way you raise your kids will be the way they raise their kids, and the way they raise their kids etc. If you have any doubts about your own lifestyle you should think very hard before you pass that lifestyle on to your children.

I went off on a bit of a tangent there, sorry. This post is not about how people should or shouldn't raise their kids. What I really want to talk about is a story from Eating Animals that Jonathan Safran Foer's grandmother told him when he was a child. She survived World War One by constantly running and hiding from the Germans. She lived on whatever food she could find or steal, which was not much, and toward the end she was very close to starvation. When things were at their worst, a farmer saw her and took pity on her by bringing her a piece of meat. Unfortunately, the meat that he gave her was pork and therefore not kosher. Even though she was on the verge of death, she wouldn't eat it. When Jonathan asked her why she wouldn't eat the pork when she thought it would save her life, she answered "If nothing matters, there's nothing to save."

I loved this story as soon as I read it. I think it conveys perfectly the way that I, and I'm sure many others, feel about veganism. I, like most vegans, have had many ideological discussions with omnivores. These kinds of conversations tend to be very frustrating, because what they usually come down to is the omnivore trying to convince you that you don't really believe in veganism as much as you think you do.

One of the most common question that I think all vegans get asked is the "What if you were starving?" question. I try to be very careful when I answer this one because I don't want to sound unreasonable by saying "Absolutely not! It's never okay to kill an animal!" even though that's basically how I feel. Usually I try to respond by saying that I don't really have that much of a moral objection to someone killing an animal to save his or her own life, but that I would never do it. Most people who I have said this to have obviously not believed me. They either give me a very skeptical look or say flat out that I wouldn't feel that way if I were actually starving.

I'm quite sure that things would look a bit different if I were on the verge of starvation, but I can say with 100% certainty that I would die before I would kill an animal. The reason for this is, if I were to take the life of an animal to save my own, that animal would have died for no reason. My love for animals and my dedication to saving them is what makes me who I am, it's what defines me. If I were to throw all of that away to save my own life, who would I be saving?

So yes, I'm sure being close to death makes people do things that they otherwise wouldn't do. However, I know that, no matter what the situation, I would still have the presence of mind to realize that I would rather die than live with myself knowing that I had forsaken everything I believe in. If nothing matters, there's nothing to save.