I'm sorry there was no blog last week, but things have gotten a little crazy around here lately. There may not be regular blogs for a while. I will try to keep you guys updated from time to time, but I make no promises. You see, tomorrow at this time I will be on an airplane bound for California.
This may seem rather sudden, and believe me it is. Nine days ago I received an email from Farm Sanctuary stating that they were in dire need of interns at both of their California shelters. They wanted to know if I would be able to come and help out. At first I was in complete shock. I mean how often does someone ask you to pick up your entire life and fly to the other side of the country in less than two weeks. Then I was ecstatic. I have ALWAYS wanted to go to California and had just never had a good excuse before. Now here was an opportunity to work with an organization I love, doing the one thing that really matters to me, and go to the one place I have always wanted to go. Finally I was scared shitless. I have never been on an airplane before. I have never been that far from home before. I would have to quit my job without giving a two week notice, something I would never have considered doing before. Most importantly, I would have to find a way for Riley and Petunia to be cared for while I was gone.
I spent the whole next day having a mini-nervous-breakdown. I had no idea where to even begin getting ready for this. Somehow, probably for the first time in my life, everything just sort of fell into place. My dad agreed to take care of Riley and Petunia for me (Thank you Dad!). My boss didn't even get angry when I told her why I was leaving (Thank you Cheryl even though I know you won't read this!). My mom helped me book my flight and plan all of the things I would need to take (Thank you Mother!). My dad and my sister are going to drive me to the airport even though we have to leave at 4am (Thank you Caty and again Dad!). Perhaps most surprisingly, last night I packed all of the clothes I had planned to take and they all fit into ONE suitcase (Thank you gods of last-minute packing!).
So yes, tomorrow morning I will be on an airplane, for the first time in my life, on my way to Farm Sanctuary's Animal Acres on the outskirts of LA (Thank you Farm Sanctuary!).
Monday, January 30, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Ms. Nobody
So I watched this movie the other day called Mr. Nobody. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would highly recommend it. It covered a lot of really interesting concepts (time travel, alternate dimensions, etc.) and stars Jared Leto who, for anyone who doesn't know, is a fairly outspoken vegan. Anyway, the basic idea of the movie is that it tracks all of the different lives that Jared Leto's character, Nemo, could have had. There were certain pivotal decisions that were very difficult for him and greatly affected the outcome of his life, but there were also very small decisions that seemed almost inconsequential and had an even greater effect.
Of course I had heard of this concept before, that each decision we make creates a new universe in which we made the opposite choice, but every time I am reminded of this idea I find that I can't stop thinking about it. I find myself wondering, first of all, if there is another version of me somewhere who did things better, who actually made something of her life. To some extent I find this thought rather comforting, like maybe somewhere, in some other dimension, I really am making a difference. It also makes me wonder how much our choices can actually determine who we are. How different could I be as a person if I had done things differently? Is there are version of me out there who isn't vegan? Maybe there's a Whitney who doesn't care about animal rights at all, or the planet, or other people. Maybe there's a me who is completely selfish and obsessed with material possessions. I find that a bit disturbing to say the least.
I suppose both of those things are pretty irrelevant, because alas I am not Nemo, I will never know what could have happened if I had done that instead of this. What is relevant though is the fact that each tiny decision in our lives has the potential to change everything. Not that every decision is crucial, but that we never know which ones are. What if I actually manage to leave for work on time tomorrow? For all I know, that could be the most life-changing choice I ever make. Maybe having the extra time will allow me to be less rushed and I will notice something that I otherwise never would have noticed. Maybe I will witness something that will change my entire outlook on life just because I wasn't in a hurry. It's possible that getting to work a couple of minutes early would get me there just in time to meet some person who would want to help me with my animal sanctuary/ community idea (not likely, but you never know). Or maybe leaving the house a few minutes early will put me in just the right place to be hit by a bus. Who knows.
So I guess the whole point of this post is that, as if I didn't have a hard enough time making decisions, now I have been reminded that even the seemingly unimportant ones can have huge consequences. So hooray for that! On a lighter note, according to Mr. Nobody, in the future everyone will have a pig that they carry around with them all the time. That should give you all something to look forward to .
Of course I had heard of this concept before, that each decision we make creates a new universe in which we made the opposite choice, but every time I am reminded of this idea I find that I can't stop thinking about it. I find myself wondering, first of all, if there is another version of me somewhere who did things better, who actually made something of her life. To some extent I find this thought rather comforting, like maybe somewhere, in some other dimension, I really am making a difference. It also makes me wonder how much our choices can actually determine who we are. How different could I be as a person if I had done things differently? Is there are version of me out there who isn't vegan? Maybe there's a Whitney who doesn't care about animal rights at all, or the planet, or other people. Maybe there's a me who is completely selfish and obsessed with material possessions. I find that a bit disturbing to say the least.
I suppose both of those things are pretty irrelevant, because alas I am not Nemo, I will never know what could have happened if I had done that instead of this. What is relevant though is the fact that each tiny decision in our lives has the potential to change everything. Not that every decision is crucial, but that we never know which ones are. What if I actually manage to leave for work on time tomorrow? For all I know, that could be the most life-changing choice I ever make. Maybe having the extra time will allow me to be less rushed and I will notice something that I otherwise never would have noticed. Maybe I will witness something that will change my entire outlook on life just because I wasn't in a hurry. It's possible that getting to work a couple of minutes early would get me there just in time to meet some person who would want to help me with my animal sanctuary/ community idea (not likely, but you never know). Or maybe leaving the house a few minutes early will put me in just the right place to be hit by a bus. Who knows.
So I guess the whole point of this post is that, as if I didn't have a hard enough time making decisions, now I have been reminded that even the seemingly unimportant ones can have huge consequences. So hooray for that! On a lighter note, according to Mr. Nobody, in the future everyone will have a pig that they carry around with them all the time. That should give you all something to look forward to .
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Life Goals
It seems like everyone has all of these plans for how they want their lives to turn out, these distinct goals they want to achieve. They want to get married, they want to have kids, they want to get this certain job, they want to live in this kind of house, they want to drive this particular car, they want to make this much money, they want to travel here or there. I don't care about any of that. Honestly, I don't care about much of anything.
The only thing I really do want for my life is to feel like it had value. I would pretty much live anywhere and do anything if I could just feel like, when I die, I will leave some sort of mark. I want to feel that in some way the world will be a tiny bit better because of something I did.
Sure, there are things I would like to have in my life, but I would happily give up every one of them to know for sure that I made a difference. When I try to imagine how I want my life to turn out, I can imagine a million different scenarios and, most of the time, each one seems just as good as the next. I can picture myself living almost anywhere and doing almost anything, and being okay with it, as long as what I'm doing is furthering animal rights in some way. That's all I really want.
The truth is that I just don't place that much importance on my own life. The only important thing about my life is what I do with it. I realized a long time ago that I don't think I will ever be "happy" by most people's standards. As far back as I can remember I have never actually been happy so doing things to try and make myself happy seems a bit pointless. I think the best I can hope for in my life is to feel fulfilled. At this point I think I would take fulfilled over happy anyway.
I find it very disheartening when I look around and see all of these people who want all of these things in their lives, people who care so much about things that just seem so irrelevant in the long run, when all I want is for my life to matter. How is it that so many people want big houses and expensive cars and prestigious jobs and quite often they get those things, yet all I want is to not feel useless and I still can't seem to find a way to achieve that? Sorry about the rather depressing post.
The only thing I really do want for my life is to feel like it had value. I would pretty much live anywhere and do anything if I could just feel like, when I die, I will leave some sort of mark. I want to feel that in some way the world will be a tiny bit better because of something I did.
Sure, there are things I would like to have in my life, but I would happily give up every one of them to know for sure that I made a difference. When I try to imagine how I want my life to turn out, I can imagine a million different scenarios and, most of the time, each one seems just as good as the next. I can picture myself living almost anywhere and doing almost anything, and being okay with it, as long as what I'm doing is furthering animal rights in some way. That's all I really want.
The truth is that I just don't place that much importance on my own life. The only important thing about my life is what I do with it. I realized a long time ago that I don't think I will ever be "happy" by most people's standards. As far back as I can remember I have never actually been happy so doing things to try and make myself happy seems a bit pointless. I think the best I can hope for in my life is to feel fulfilled. At this point I think I would take fulfilled over happy anyway.
I find it very disheartening when I look around and see all of these people who want all of these things in their lives, people who care so much about things that just seem so irrelevant in the long run, when all I want is for my life to matter. How is it that so many people want big houses and expensive cars and prestigious jobs and quite often they get those things, yet all I want is to not feel useless and I still can't seem to find a way to achieve that? Sorry about the rather depressing post.
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